It's a new year and with it comes the rehashing of all the things I did not do right, or outright failed the previous year. My dear hubby, tired of the same old bashing of myself that I inflict not just an annual or monthly basis, shared a process a former Scientologist stumbled upon while experiencing zero state consciousness.
First he had me state a belief. Now, we had been celebrating the new year with some trader Joes blanc de blanc, so I was fairly tipsy. Which I think was a good thing, in hindsight, since I couldn't edit much. My belief is that I'm stupid. My hubby just nodded his head, then said, how big is that belief? I was like, what? He continued, you believe you are stupid. Does that belief extend to this room? The house? How far does that belief go? To the city? I thought about it and with tears threatening to appear, whispered, my stupidity is bigger than the city. he asked, does it go to the moon? The sun? The Galaxy? The universe? I said, the universe? No that is just silly, it's not the universe. Ok my hubby said… So the universe is too big. The Galaxy? How about the solar system? It considered it and decided my stupidity was as big as the solar system and I included Pluto in my assessment of the solar system.
Ok my hubby continued, you have this belief that you are stupid and this belief is as big as the solar system. I thought about what he said and tearfully said, yes, and it's so heavy. Ah, my hubby said, another belief but let's deal with the size for now. Now, feel the size of this belief and how much space it takes…. Have it? Now, step outside of it, imagine stepping outside of the solar system so you can see the belief. You created this belief, you gave it size, and just as you created it, you can deconstruct it.
Here I looked at my hubby incredulously. I don't get it I said but of course, that's just because I'm stupid. My husband said, hold on a minute. Close you eyes. I want you to imagine a purple flower, any kind of flower you like. Picture it next to my head. Do you see the purple flower next to my head? I nodded yes, I imagined a purple flower next to his head. Now, deconstruct the purple flower so it's not by my head and it is no longer there. But I protested that even though I could imagine the flower gone, I knew I created the image of it and made it go away. My husband said yes but that purple flower was never really there in the first place.
There was no purple flower but using your mind, you created it and also made it go away. You can do the same with your beliefs.
While I would love to say that I understood him right away and gained some new insight and clarity, I am not there yet. But that's ok. I'm on my timetable and its my path.